An exceprt of 99% the musical will be performed at Oakland Metropolitan Opera House

Hello to my Fellow Lawfully Abiding Citizens,

I am so excited to share an incarnation of a musical number called “GET ME OFFicer” a funny, sad, dark and twisted satirical musical theatre excerpt of the show: 99% the musical at a popular monthly variety show at he Oakland Metropolitan Opera House called Tourettes with Out Regrets! RSVP NOW and come down to check it out! 

I sing a love song to an Officer of the Law asking him to be natural with me and feel comfortable torturing and abusing my rights. The more he invades my personal space and takes away my civil liberties the more I want to speed through red lights and topple over police barricades. It’s cheeky, fun, silly, and sad.  In the Broadway production the number features a line of of Riot Cops in full on Riot Cop Gear. In the Thursday, June 7th version Isaac Rodriguez (your local Bay Area doorman extraordinare) will comedically pay homage to the OPD by putting on a badge and swinging around a huge costume nightstick.

The musical accompaniment is a mash up variety of “The Guns of Brixton” cover by Novelle Vague remixed by amazing dj, Seek Selekta  Check out his original jams too they are spicy:

My costume is by Kaytee Papusza whose amazing creations include a dead bird line.  Witness her collection at:

FYI as I am putting the finishing touches on my attire I found these:

“Adult entertainment” means any exhibition, performance, or dance which is not obscene and:

1. Where such exhibition, performance, or dance involves a person who is unclothed or in such costume, attire, or clothing as to expose any portion of the female breast below the top of the areola or any portion of the pubic region, anus, buttocks, vulva or genitals, or wearing any device or covering exposed to view which simulates the appearance of any portion of the female breast below the top of the areola or any portion of the pubic region, anus, buttocks, vulva or genitals, or human male genitals in a discernibly turgid state, even if completely and opaquely covered; or

2. Where such exhibition, performance or dance is distinguished or characterized by a predominant emphasis on the depiction, description, simulation or relation to the following specified sexual activities:

a. Human genitals in a state of sexual stimulation or arousal,

b. Acts of human masturbation, sexual intercourse or sodomy, or

c. Fondling or other erotic touching of human genitals, pubic region, buttocks or female breasts; or

3. Which is intended to sexually stimulate any member of the public and which is conducted on a regular basis or as a substantial part of the activity on the premises. This includes, but is not limited to, any such exhibition, performance or dance performed for, arranged with, or engaged in with fewer than all members of the public on the premises at that time, and which is commonly referred to as table dancing, couch dancing, lap dancing, private dancing and straddle dancing.

4. This term shall not be construed to include:

a. Plays, operas, musicals, or other dramatic works; or

b. Classes, seminars and lectures which are held for serious scientific or educational purposes.

Whew! So I am going to be totally legal when I reveal what the officer really wants… organic vegan donuts from Pepples Donut Farm on 6037 San Pablo Avenue.



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Beyond Fun.

Yes Please.